In Retrospect

I'm in a relationship with a person who only seems to care about the past. Have you ever been in that position? At first, it's seems great to reminisce. Then, it gradually becomes annoying. So what happens if that person is totally oblivious to that fact? I guess most of us would continue to play the gracious host and continue down that line of conversation and write it off as a one-time event. Then... what if the next time you saw that person and all that he or she could talk about was what happened before. Again. And again. And again. And again ad nauseum. You would feel pretty pissed off over time, right? I was.

So now what happens if you find out that the past is all the person has? What if you found out that the future holds little that the person can look forward to and because of that he/she finds solace in the past? Would you feel that I had been cold and callous just like I did myself? What would you feel like? Let me tell you what I didn't feel like: a first-class person. Another one of my less than proud moments which I would rather forget. Confronting this head-on makes a mockery of the person I thought I was, the leader that people expected me to be and the Christian that I had supposedly become.

How do you apologize when the person who you feel you have offended does not know? How do you make up for it when the person you have wronged is not even aware?

I feel really, really sad.

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I wrote this emo stuff about a month back to rant and somehow it just didn't feel right to post it back then. Hmm, why does it feel better now? =/